Author: Margaret Wise Brown

Illustrations: Clement Hurd

Report By: Matthew Seth (34 Years Old)

Goodnight Moon

(If you have the book, follow along with the pictures)

“In the great green room there was a telephone, and a red balloon, and a picture of, a cow jumping over the moon.”

My Julianna lives in a great green room but the day I put a telephone in there is the day…well…my kids are likely to not know what a phone with a cord is.  As for the red balloon, the bunny must have been at Kelly’s Roast Beef.  They give out balloons and we are never “allowed” to leave without getting one.

“There were three little bears, sitting on chairs and two little kittens and a pair of mittens.”

The thing they don’t mention here but the keen detective will observe is that the bunny has a fireplace in her room (the bunny is a her in my house).  I thought that the lack of safety rails on the bed was enough…but this is going too far.  Plus, if you have a fireplace, why do you need mittens?  Perhaps the fireplace isn’t real.  After all, it doesn’t cast any real light like the lamp does.  Also worth noting, the mittens clearly don’t fit the bunny (notice the giant thumbs on the mittens).

“And a little toy house and a young mouse.”

Now I know why there are no bed rails.  This bunny probably actually sleeps in the little toy house.  I suppose “little” is relative because clearly she could fit in there…which is where she has to go to escape from that ferocious young mouse.  Oh wait, I forgot, there are two little kittens who would probably eat that mouse.

“And a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush.”

The bunny has no hair so why the comb AND brush?  I’m just speculating here but I imagine it had to be shaved off after the last time she had a bowl full of mush that got stuck in her hair as she tried to eat it in bed in the dark.

Anyway…

“And a quiet old lady who was whispering HUSHHHH…”

Wait, where did she come from?  A minute ago the bunny was alone in the room.  Of course, this explains why the young mouse wasn’t eaten by the two little kittens:  Quiet old lady dropped her ball of yarn on the floor.

“Goodnight room.  Goodnight moon.  Goodnight cow jumping over the moon.  Goodnight light, and the red balloon.  Goodnight bears.  Goodnight chairs.  Goodnight kittens.  Goodnight mittens.”

Hold on, where did the socks go that were on the clothes line thing a few minutes ago?

“Goodnight clocks.  Goodnight socks.”

Oh, they’re back.

“Goodnight little house and goodnight mouse.  Goodnight comb.  Goodnight brush.  Goodnight nobody.  Goodnight mush.”

I’ve had to try and explain what “Goodbye nobody” means and what it is doing in the middle.  “Daddy, how do I say goodnight to nobody?”

“And goodnight to the old lady whispering HUSHHHH…”

Notice how attentive the two little kittens are now that the quiet old lady has cleaned up her yarn mess.

“Goodnight stars.  Goodnight air.”

Let’s hope not.

“Goodnight noises, everywhere.”

“Daddy, I just made a fart.”

“Goodnight noises, everywhere, except for that one.”