Hands Off

We joke frequently with our girls about boyfriends.

We do this because its cute and funny and because both girls seem to talk about the boys they know more than the girls they know (bad sign #1).  Now, I know we probably shouldn’t focus on that sort of relationship with them.  As Julianna approaches 3 years old, and Chloe a few weeks later turns 2, these conversations might eventually (and I don’t mean tomorrow) take on a larger social implication for them.

As far as I’m concerned, if neither of them end up wanting a boyfriend until their 30, that’ll be fine but the following suggests otherwise:

Chloe has a friend who is a boy at school, who, for the sake of anonymity, I will lovingly refer to as Satan.  Keep in mind, both girls go to school 3 days a week.  Each day when we get to school, while the other kids (who are all under 2) continue on doing what they’re doing, Satan happily toddles over and says hello.  He usually attempts to get a hug from Chloe to which she usually responds with the standard Heisman maneuver.  I mean, slow it down kiddo.  He also regularly says hello to me, sometimes even offering a book.  Ass kisser.

Eventually I say goodbye and take Julianna to her class room.  Now here we have an opposite move.  While Chloe plays hard-to-get, Julianna gets to her class and immediately sets her sights on finding, who, for the sake of anonymity, I will loving refer to as, Lucifer.  She usually runs him down and he happily says hello, usually followed by a high 5, or perhaps a fist bump.  He’s a smart little devil.  He knows I’m watching.  Then they go in opposite directions.  Play it cool.

So then eventually I head out, and have to walk past Chloe’s room again.  At this point, the hard-to-get game has essentially ended.  After all, its been about 5 minutes.  Now, the two of them are shoulder to shoulder.  She comes over to say hello to me and he’s right there.

“Hi Daddy,” she says.

“Hi Daddy,” he says.  I’m sorry, what?

Listen bub…

And then, once, his pants fell down.  I wish I was making this up.  So what if maybe his pants were just a little too big that day.  I said to him, “Listen, [Satan], the next time that happens, it best be 25 years from now and while I’m not in the room, understand?”  I think he gets it.  I’m very tough.

Meanwhile, they are both very nice boys and they both play very nicely (minus the pants thing) with my daughters.  I even think Satan has defended Chloe once or twice in her classroom when another kid took a toy from her.  So for now…and I’ll be watching…I will allow it.

For now.  I’m very tough.